People do not return phone calls or long almost lost friends fail to answer their phones. Which side do you place fault on? Calls weren't made and emails weren't sent by both opposing forces. Do not say the friendship still exists because it cannot still exist. Calendars are flipped and people grow apart and people change their interests and people change their likes and dislikes. Two months or two years, personalities continue to evolve or corruption occurs. It is inevitable. Redundancy tends to poison a man who stays the same. Onlookers will label the person normal or boring or lazy. Therefore in fear of being labeled a negative drain on the community, I will or you will force change. I am not the same person I was last year or five years ago. I dont care if this is a bad or good thing. If I hate the person I am currently impersonating, I wont revert to past embodiments. Instead i will continue to change until I've changed into a person I and you can be comfortable with. You do not know me. You have only familiarized yourself with previous installments of me. So don't say Im not the person I used to be. No shit, I am aware of this.

I visited my mother's house in rural wisconsin today. The white three story on Racine Street is where I spent my formative years. Much remains the same. The hardwood floors are still cold and the roof continues to a bleed a vibrant red. There's still a strong draft that runs throughout. It makes winter months harsh and hot summer days manageable.

Since I made the exit, three actors have left voluntarily and one was forced out. Kid got killed off during sweeps. His contract was up for negotiation. This leaves one permanent contributor.

The bathroom was remodeled two winters ago, but still embodies the original character of the 1911 completion. A restored low-tank toilet is tucked away in the corner and a bear claw tub sits opposite. An off white vanity permanently caked in Colgate was lost in the transition. Still present is a half empty bottle of oil-free acne face wash. The piss colored Neutrogena has maintained it's position for three damn years, sitting on a shelf above the hot and cold water handles. Left behind by a girl from Texas, who at one time I thought I could love. The bathroom on the third floor was completely gutted, yet this bottle holds strong. It's funny how things remain despite change.